Category: Readers Articles of Interest

SUDDEN SINKING

SUDDEN SINKING

 

At sea things can go wrong very quickly, as Barry Dock and Penarth lifeboat crews found out on 12th June

Kath Fisher couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning, she thought: ‘Is this an omen that something’s about to happen?’. At 1.15am her lifeboat pager went off.

Volunteers all around Penarth and Barry Dock shook themselves awake and headed for their lifeboat stations. It was a Mayday call; an emergency at sea where life is at risk – a fishing boat, with two onboard, was taking on water at a notorious local black spot off Lavernock Point.

Penarth crew were first on scene in their fast agile Atlantic 91 Class lifeboat and crew member Matt Church took a salvage pump onto the yacht to try and pump out the water before taking the yacht under tow. They’d be back home in bed in no time.

However luck was not on their side and the flooding quickly overwhelmed the salvage pumps capability and within a minute the yacht had sunk beneath them whilst still under tow, a very dangerous situation for the 2 fishermen, lifeboat crewman Matt and the crew of the towing lifeboat. Kath, aboard the Penarth lifeboat, quickly realised the danger and cut the tow rope enabling the lifeboat to do an immediate U turn to help the 3 people now in the water. It all happened so quickly that the two fishermen hadn’t had time to inflate their lifejackets so Matt, now a casualty himself, struggled to keep himself and the two others afloat. Kath, realising the situation jumped into the sea along with fellow crew member James King to support the casualties.

Within moments support thankfully arrived with the large well-equipped Barry Dock All-Weather Trent Class lifeboat “Inner Wheel II” along with a Coastguard Search & Rescue helicopter. Barry Dock lifeboat Coxswain Martin Bowmer immediately set off a flare illuminating the entire area supported by the massively bright helicopter searchlight. However the situation called on all his skill and experience in charge of the 18 tonne lifeboat as the three casualties had drifted into very rocky, shallow water. With only a metre of water beneath his keel in unpredictable coastline in pitch black seas he carefully used the Trent’s immense engines to keep his lifeboat steady allowing his crew to safely haul colleague Matt and fishermen Jason and Andy aboard. The immediate danger had passed and all 3 were taken into the Trent lifeboat’s wheelhouse to be warmed, reassured and assessed for injuries. Meanwhile Martin then turned the lifeboat around, powered up her twin diesel engines and headed back to Barry Dock to hand over the casualties to waiting Paramedics. By 2.30 am the emergency had passed enabling all the volunteer crew members to return to their stations on Penarth Esplanade and at Barry Dock respectively. After a detailed debriefing and a washing and checking of all boats and equipment both crews ‘Stood Down’ and civilian life returned with crews returning home to their much deserved beds.

Thankfully both fishermen received a clean-bill of

health by A&E staff.

This story is testament to the skill, dedication and training of the RNLI volunteer crews and the wonderful boats and equipment of the RNLI around the entire coastline of the UK and Ireland

Story summarised with kind permission of the RNLI from the ‘Lifeboat’ magazine issue 625, Autumn 2018. Credited to author Miréad Dane

 

 

MEMORIES OF CHRISTMAS PAST

I was brought up in a mining community where, following the 1926 strike until well into the Thirties, there was quite a lot of poverty. Perhaps you would like to know what Christmas was like when I was a little girl.
People had very little money to spend on Christmas, which in those days was completely different from what it is today. There was not the preparation and buying from October onwards. A week or two before Christmas day we would start making our own streamers from bits of coloured paper; mostly we would make paper chains. The majority of people were quite poor, so we didn’t have as many presents as children have today. For instance we didn’t get anything from Aunts & Uncles because every family could only afford a little extra for food. We just got one present from Father Christmas and our stocking.
Dad’s relatives had a farm in Ireland, so we were luckier than a lot of families as they always sent us a goose; they would put it on the overnight boat & we would get it off the train from Fishguard the following morning, Christmas Eve. Our local grocer would take his horse and cart to the station and collect parcels off the train and he would come around the streets delivering. We children would be quite excited, dancing in the road, waiting for him to arrive.
Mam & Dad would tell us to hang up our stockings beside the big open fireplace and then we would go to bed. They would then take out what money they had managed to save and go to Tonypandy shopping at 10 o’clock. The shops would still be open and they would be able to pick up bargains and some luxuries to eat. When they finished their shopping they would go to midnight mass, so by the time they walked home it would be 2a.m.
Gran lived with us and it would be her job to feather, clean and prepare the goose and stuff it ready for the oven.
Of course we were always awake very early Christmas morning, to delve in our stockings and see what Father Christmas had brought. We usually had an apple, an orange, a couple of nuts and one small present. We didn’t feel hard done by because we had so little, as everyone had the same, and it was more than we normally had; so Christmas still had magic about it.
About 7o’clock we would walk with Dad to the ‘Bakehouse’. People had no central heating so on a very cold morning we would feel we were in wonderland seeing all the different intricate patterns Jack Frost would leave on the windows.
We didn’t have gas or electric cookers in those days. We had a black grate with an open fire and a small oven beside it, which would take a long time to warm. The ‘Bakehouse’ as we called it was the local bakery; they made bread and cakes. On Christmas Eve the women would take their Christmas cakes to be cooked slowly during the night. Then early Christmas morning the men would take their fowl in its roasting dish & for sixpence (old money) Mr James, the Bakehouse owner, would cook our goose for us, so we could use our fire and oven for cooking vegetables.
We would then go to mass and Father would give all us children an orange or a few sweets as we came out. I suppose that when we got home from church we would have our Christmas dinner but I don’t really remember much about eating everything; else was too exciting.
After dinner we would play games or Dad would do Irish jigs or he would play his melodeon for us to dance to the music. All the excitement of Christmas was just the same as it is today. You see there will always be a spirit of Christmas if you look for it.
We would all go to bed very tired, but very happy.
Today one of my fondest memories is the excitement of walking that 300 yards or so on a crisp early Christmas morning, with Dad, taking the goose to be cooked. The delicious smells from the Bakehouse would greet you long before you reached it.

Change

If you’re unaware as to who Brett Kavanaugh is, I’m sure you’ve not glanced at the news recently. The Supreme Court nominee, accused of attempted sexual assault, who despite the odds, became a Supreme Court Justice and proved that in America, when a woman accuses a man of sexual misconduct, she is the liar. A pattern we have unfortunately seen repeated time and time again.

Dr Christine Blasey Ford had received “actual threats to her safety and her life” before appearing in front of the Senate judiciary committee to testify against the then-nominee Kavanaugh. Despite numerous witnesses to the attempted assault, including a high school friend of Kavanaugh’s who is alleged to have been present in the room during the attempted assault, Ford’s accusation was dismissed as being ‘politically charged’ by many. But the theme of dismissing sexual assault claims as ‘lies’ or ‘opportunistic’ isn’t new, and neither is it uncommon. The world has a problem believing a claim of sexual misconduct, and I don’t know why. According to a 2015 report by the National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, the prevalence of false reporting sexual violence in the United States is only between 2% and 10%. Considering that the report also states, “a study of eight U.S. communities, which included 2,059 cases of sexual assault, found a 7.1% rate of false reports” why can’t we believe the people who are brave enough to come forward to speak about their trauma?

Three women including Ford came forward to accuse Kavanaugh of sexual misconduct. There is no excuse of ‘it was a mistake he made once’ (an incredibly weak excuse at that – rape is rape, attempted rape is no different; that’s not a mistake, that’s a choice to violate someone) Kavanaugh had a pattern of violating women. And still, the highest court in America took his side.

In 2017, Brett Kavanaugh was on the DC Circuit Court of Appeals and ruled against a 17-year-old undocumented teenager who was attempting to obtain an abortion. Jane Doe, who did not want her identity revealed throughout the case, arrived in the

United States without her parents and was taken into the U.S. Custody. She was pregnant and was aiming to exercise her constitutional right to obtain a legal abortion; this right extends not only to United States citizens, but also foreigners within the US. Kavanaugh had delayed her ability to obtain a legal abortion and claimed that the government should not facilitate her abortion, but at 15 weeks pregnant, her window was closing. Kavanaugh stated “she is pregnant and has to make a major life decision”, but his action in ruling against her plea seems to claim that he believed having an abortion was more life altering than having a child which would have been unwanted, and a child Jane Doe would have been unable to financially support. Jane Doe eventually obtained the right to legally obtain an abortion within the United States, but it was she who gained much of the backlash for the decision, not those who voted against her. A tweet by Teen Vogue columnist, Lauren Duca stated “It seems to me that when Brett Kavanaugh attempted to deny a 17-year-old immigrant an abortion, he believed that the decisions you make as a minor ought to have lifelong consequences. Let’s treat him the same way”.

Let's treat him the same way. The old 'boys will be boys' line is dated and inexcusable. Kavanaugh's actions in the attempted sexual assault when he was a teenager doesn't mean he can't still be held accountable for his actions now. Jane Doe will be seen as the immigrant who got rid of her baby, and yet Brett Kavanaugh's attempted sexual assault and the many claims which have also come to light have been dismissed and he now holds a position of power high enough to be influential in cases such as his in the future. And you know which way he'll vote then. America's poor judgement seems sewn into its history; a man who was accused of rape is now their President, their history of gun violence is unchanged and they are breaking their own record year after year with the worst mass shootings in American history. It's shocking that a man like Kavanaugh could go through such a heavily-followed case which included numerous allegations of sexual misconduct and still be awarded with one of the highest seats at the table. It's shocking. But it's not surprising.

From the Harvey Weinstein story of last year, to the MeToo campaign, to the Kavanaugh case, the world has proven that barely anyone believes those who have accused others of sexual misconduct. We typically believe the accused, and I’m sick of it.

I believe her. I believe him. I believe those who have come forward with their stories. Sexual misconduct is a matter which shouldn’t be taken lightly. But it’s a topic where we have consistently let down those who must fight to even be heard. Please let it stop.

By Tirion Davies

Early-Marriages Are Detrimental

 

Since I was little, I imagined what my future wedding would be like. The dress, the layout, the partner; all children daydream about the day they will marry their soulmate. I always wondered what they would look like, their personality, how we would meet, how old I would be and how long it would take for us to get engaged. But I realise now, my imagination of what the future would hold for me was because I get to make a choice. Unfortunately, choice isn’t granted to every girl in the world.

I’m eighteen, and currently, I don’t see myself marrying for probably another ten years. I haven’t met the person – I haven’t even come close. But 12 million girls all over the world are married before they reach eighteen. Before their life begins. 23 girls every minute; almost 1 every 2 seconds. A choice they can’t make themselves; a choice they aren’t allowed to make themselves.

Being Welsh, I know gender pay inequality is still an issue that women in the UK face, but in the big scheme of things, it’s hardly the women of the world’s biggest concern. Of course, the gender pay gap ought to close and I truly hope it does; I aim to be a part of that conversation. But the truth of the matter is, gender inequality reaches so far beyond pay in many of the countries around the world and extends to the genuine belief that women are so inferior to men on a much larger scale. In numerous countries, being born a girl immediately creates a burden on a family; to ease economic hardship, and ‘burden’ another family in place of theirs, families marry off their young daughters. Patriarchal values aid in child marriage, as there is a desire by the patriarchal society in these countries to control a women, by the way they dress, how she should behave and most importantly, who she should marry.

Child marriage seems to us like some barbaric burden placed on young girls. So many countries practice child marriage simply as it is something that has happened for generations, but it doesn’t justify the practice. In Southern Ethiopia for example, harmful practices are often linked, with child marriage leading to female genital mutilation; practices may be tradition, but they can be harmful to those involved. Many young girls who are married are expected to have children, but many get pregnant when their bodies have only just started puberty. They die because their bodies are not equipped to carrying a baby, and certainly not built for giving birth to them.

GirlsNotBrides is a global partnership of over 1000 civil society organisations which are dedicated to ending child marriage. Their theory of change involves ideas such as empowering girls and giving them opportunities to build skills and knowledge; by encouraging them to become agents of change themselves, we can  continue the chain of empowering young girls. With the Safe Space Programmes, we can successfully build girls’ self-confidence, for married girls who do not receive an education, they offer self-sufficiency and having a safe place to meet with other girls who have shared the same experiences, the feeling of isolation and vulnerability can begin to be removed. The work the global partnership does with men and boys who become husbands, or who are brothers and fathers shows the value of encouraging young girls and aiding to fulfil their potential.

Child marriage, according to ‘GirlsNotBrides’ website ‘violates girls’ rights to health, education and opportunity. It exposes girls to violence throughout their lives and traps them in a cycle of poverty’. More than 650 million women, and over 150 million men have suffered child marriage, and without faster progress the global number of women married as children will reach 1.2 billion by 2050. If we help to support GirlsNotBrides, we can help end the devastating consequences of child marriage. Progress is being made, with the African Union and the South Asia Initiative to End Violence Against Children having launched initiatives to help end child marriages and support young married girls; more and more countries are developing national action plans to end child marriage, in partnership with the UN.

A campaign conducted by the Network of Roma, Ashkali and Egyptian Women Organizations of Kosovo (a project under the EU-UN jurisdiction ‘Implementing Norms, Changing Minds’) have allowed for communities in Kosovo to understand the detrimental restrictions early-marriage forces upon young girls’ prospect of a safe life. A young man named Qerim completed his training on the prevention of early-marriage and has begun his door-to-door programme of beginning conversations in his neighbourhood and is encouraging them to consider the effects early-marriage has on the young women within their own community. By opening the conversation to communities where child marriage is often a tradition, we can help prevent the practice.

You may not think this is a problem we should deal with, as it is not a problem on Britain’s doorstep. But it doesn’t mean we can’t help in the matter. Supporting the UN and global partnerships like GirlsNotBrides, FreedomUnited, Amnesty International, Plan International and so many more can make even the slightest difference. By continuing the conversation and understanding how early-marriages are detrimental, you are a part of change.

Child marriage needs to stop and progress isn’t happening fast enough. Support these global partnerships and become a part of change.

By Tirion Davies

 

 

One-Woman Show

 

Sorting the Sock Drawer

– A one-woman show by Eirwen Malin on Thursday 27th September 2018, 7pm Wenvoe Arms Function Room.

“Medron was a good king; kind, just and surprisingly progressive. The country prospered. But there was something wrong, something wrong with Medron himself and he knew it. It all started when he noticed that the sole of his right shoe kept wearing out much more quickly than the left”

After several years of occasional visits to the GP surgery with odd and unexplained symptoms, one of the GPs referred me to a neurologist “to put my mind at rest”. After nearly 12 months of waiting, I finally got my appointment and the consultant unexpectedly, and with somewhat clumsy practice, diagnosed Parkinson’s Disease, a degenerative, incurable, neurological condition which according to him is “devastating in its later stages”. My world had been upended but the good (?) news was PD does not particularly shorten lifespan. You just have to learn to live with it, potentially for a very long time.

Sorting the Sock Drawer intertwines Medron’s mythical journey with my personal path. As protagonists of each story we gain new strengths as we face challenges and arrive at journey’s end with a changed and meaningful life. Come and join us to hear what I hope is an entertaining and uplifting tale.

I’ll look forward to a chat in the bar afterwards.

This is the first date of a new tour of the show. Previous audiences have said:-

“Funny, sad, thought-provoking."

"Beautifully crafted. I love the blend of traditional and personal story.”

“The message will stay with me… Life is different, but not necessarily worse”

Thanks to Jenny and Digby at The Wenvoe for providing the venue for free. There is no charge though there will be a voluntary donation to a Parkinson’s charity.

Numbers are restricted so please book your seat by texting Phil 07870 212437 or email philipthomas664@gmail.com.

Access to the venue is via steps – apologies to those who have restricted mobility.

Running time about 1hour 15 mins.

I hope to see you there

Eirwen

 

 

Love is a Losing Game

Love is a Losing Game

Imagine being paralysed by fear in your own home. Imagine being hit to the point of breaking but you must continue to live with your abuser. Imagine if you lived in a country where unless you are hospitalised – that is, if you have the guts to take yourself to a hospital – your abuser is forgiven by society. Imagine if your abuser becomes the hero of the narrative, making you the villain by default. Imagine then, being a woman in the Russia of 2018.

More than 10,000 women in Russia are believed to die from injuries inflicted by their husbands yearly, yet despite this, the Russian parliament has passed a legal amendment decriminalising domestic abuse. With 380 to 3 votes in the Duma, and Putin’s easy agreement, the motion passed easily. Why can’t Russia seem to notice the death sentence they have forced upon millions of its women and children? Why hasn’t Russia considered the terror the change of law has inflicted on the women of Yekaterinburg, where the penalty for “minor injuries” such as bruising was reduced from a two year sentence to fifteen days in prison? Why haven’t they considered that since the law was introduced, Yekaterinburg has had police responding to 350 incidents of domestic violence daily?

But consider this: what if you had to pay your husband’s fine after he broke your nose and spirit? What if you not only had to protect yourself, but your child as well? It seems hard to believe that the same country that offered suffrage for its women in 1917 and introduced the modern International Women’s Day could leave its women in such a predicament. One woman dies every 40 minutes in the ‘Motherland’ from domestic abuse. And for what? To protect Russian tradition? To maintain the ‘sacred family’ unit? One woman dead every 40 minutes, each one ignored by Parliament.

And what of the women who actively try to keep their fellow women down? What if the woman who witnessed the abuse praised your abuser for his strength and masculinity, despite almost killing you? Take, for example, Russian MP Yelena Mizulina, who helped to instigate the decriminalisation after arguing that it made no sense to break up a family for the sake of “a slap”. Mizulina has condemned a generation of women to a toxic familial environment because she doesn’t believe they should have the right to escape it. This can only lead to one thing: the woman lying cold on the kitchen floor. Maria Mamikonyan, chair of the Russian Parental, has condoned “ordinary educational slaps, which almost all families use to let children know their limits.” But when does a disciplinary ‘slap’ become abusive? And since when is it acceptable to treat grown women like children?

If you lived in a country where you were, ironically, threatened with rape for attending classes to protect yourself, would you sit idly by and allow it to happen? If you were forced to be on the run like a criminal for a crime of which you were the victim, wouldn’t you ask why? But the women of Russia have been asking why. They’ve been asking why for so long now that their cries are wails and yet their country still refuses to hear them. And we do the same. So what can they do? Stay silent, in order to stay alive. Live in fear of being murdered by the men who are meant to love them.

With up to a third of Russian women believed to suffer from some form of domestic abuse, and 40% of all murders and violent crimes taking place within the home, it’s a wonder how these women carry on. How do they go about their day, trying not to wince at the collage of bruises hidden carefully under their clothes? They have to, when staying with their partner is an easier option than living amongst the shadows.

There is a popular saying in Russia: “if he beats you, it means he loves you”. Passivity is maintained by these women as a form of survival, as though their lives are equal to a game of chess. One wrong move, and the Queen’s life hangs in the balance.

Imagine not being protected by your own nation. Would you honestly be content with that? Why then are we allowing any woman to live in that dystopian present? We cannot call ourselves a country with some of the best equal rights laws and not feel despair for the women of Russia. I urge you to imagine yourself, your grandmother, your mother, sister or daughter in a situation, where no one seems to stop the suffering of the innocent.

Without a voice, there is no change. But we have a voice – I have a voice. And so do you. Together, our voices have the power to be deafening. We cannot allow for the blood of these women to be smeared across the Russian flag in the name of ‘tradition’. By supporting charities such as Refuge and raising awareness of the severity of the problem which occurs by decriminalising domestic abuse, the rest of the world can protect the women who are unable to protect themselves. The women of Russia deserve the opportunity to fight for their lives without the threat of incarceration. We know what is happening, and yet no attempt has been on Britain’s part to protect them.

Time for change has come, and the window of opportunity is slowly closing. I will be doing all that I can to protect the women across the world suffering from sexual violence.

Will you be joining me?

By Tirion Davies

 

 

School Holidays Too Long?

 

FANTASTIC WEATHER AND SIX WEEKS OF QUALITY FAMILY TIME
But were the school holidays too long?

As the Vale’s primary and secondary schools return for the Autumn Term, there are those who argue that the Summer holiday break has been too long and it would be less stressful for parents in particular, if we cut back on the length of school holidays. Working parents have to rely on a variety of cunning plans to cover the holiday period, often including costly child-care, amenable relatives and a host of planned activities.

It is a common perception that long school holidays are a hangover of the Victorian era, when children were needed to help work on the family farm during the summer months. That theory has been challenged by those who point out that during the 19th century, vast numbers of the population migrated from the countryside to the huge new industrial towns and cities. The long summer holidays they say, were a consequence of the increasingly successful fight by trade unions for a shorter working day and more time off. As workers enjoyed holidays, family celebrations required children to be available and not at school. The development of railways boosted the family holiday by the seaside and in the UK of course that meant in the summer months.

What of other countries?

A survey of countries world-wide reveals a similar pattern to the UK with most having long school breaks at some point in the year. Japan is one of many countries which mirror the UK, with a break from the end of July to early September.

In the United States the summer break lasts about 12 weeks and in Ireland, Italy, Lithuania and Russia, summer holidays normally last three months!

Is it a good idea to reduce the number of holidays?

Head teachers in the UK argue teachers and children benefit from school holidays. Children have important experiences over the summer, developing their own ways to fill the time, often engaging in valuable new activities and interests. The holidays can provide an opportunity for them to develop their social and communication skills outside of the familiar school environment.

As for teachers there’s the increasing problem of teacher recruitment, as well as finding time for them to fulfil their professional development responsibilities and prepare for the year. All this suggests that maybe a long holiday is just what exhausted teachers and jaded students need. As a slightly biased former teacher with 30 years in the classroom, I would of course have to agree.

So how can youngsters be safely, productively and affordably entertained throughout the long summer holiday?

In the United States, with longer school breaks than Britain and typically, less holiday leave for working parents, residential summer camps provide a home-from-home and a chance for children to develop their confidence and learn new skills. The UK already has a multitude of similar organisations providing exciting summer activities but these are often costly. So if we follow this route, who pays? Without some state support less privileged children would probably miss out. On the other hand, the idea of state support for summer camps would likely be rejected by those who fear more taxation or state intervention in education. In the meantime we can all look forward to the half-term break. However you plan to spend 29th October to 2nd November, it is probably wise to start planning now!

Holidays with the Family

 

Being on holiday with my family is something I’ll never get old of. Especially if it’s after a hard two years of A-Levels. Of course, my brain is telling me I must worry about results day but my heart is telling me to jump into the sea and never look back. On holiday, I prefer the latter – always.

Sometimes I think maybe our family is weird. I’ve spoken to so many other people who all suggest they want to get as far away as their families as possible and can think of nothing worse than two weeks abroad with their parents and siblings. But not us. We enjoy each other’s company, and I prefer that. It means we can get drunk on cocktails at 6pm and name all of the stray dogs at the hotel happily; or it means that when Mam falls off the boat, bum first on a day trip, it’s entirely okay to laugh (a lot). It also means that you can have the best (sometimes weirdest) conversations sat inside the beach bar when the rain is hammering down and the pool looks desolate and bleak. Answering Trivial Pursuit cards has never been as fun as when you’re slightly drunk at night and extremely sunburnt (thanks Factor 50 ☹).

When we finish our holidays, we normally come home feeling closer. As we try to continue the rest of the summer, there’s still that glimmer of the holiday left, with sitting outside after everyone’s finished with work or trying the Trivial Pursuit cards again, only to realise you went through them all on holiday and somebody always remembers the answers. But it’s nice. Because we want to feel that close – we don’t want to run or escape from one another.

Now I’m home and Results Day looms, I can’t help but want to hold on to the holiday either. We waited two years for the holiday, and it felt like it was over so quickly (the 12 hour flight, however, I will not miss). I wish sometimes there was something akin to a holiday all of the time so that I wouldn’t have to think about school. Sometimes, though, I’m not sure I necessarily want the holiday itself (I burn incredibly easily, it’s embarrassing and inevitably always hotter again because of the sunburn) but rather the family time. I genuinely like my family, and hoping that I do get in to University, I don’t know what I’ll do without them next year.

I wish there were as many families who are just happy to be around one another in the same way we are. It’s great and I would highly recommend it. I’m not saying I’m best friends with my parents, but I’m saying I highly enjoy their company. Life when you enjoy your parents’ company is far better than life when you don’t.

Enjoy your holidays, ladies and gents!

By Tirion Davies

 

 

The “Ideal Summer Body”!

 

As the idea of a ‘summer body’ becomes more and more relevant, so does the idea of the ‘ideal summer body’. I’ve struggled a lot with how I look, and the size of clothing I wear doesn’t count as ‘plus-sized’ but neither does it count as ‘the ideal body’. I stand in that weird, medium section – otherwise known as size 12 wearers – where because of the size of clothing I wear, I count as the middle ground no one wishes to be in.

Because the world, and fashion magazines put such an importance on looking ‘perfect’, telling everyone my clothing size as I just did is a big step for me. Because I’ve always had the impression that a size 12 is ‘too big’. Stupid, really isn’t it? I always feel happy when I fit into a size 10 easily. And then I always feel guilty, because I’m not really that size. But why should I feel guilty? Why have I created this idea in my head that a size 12 is less than ideal? According to reports, the average dress size of a UK woman in 2017 was a size 16. But my question isn’t only why do I feel ‘fat’ for being a size 12, but also – why do sizes have such an importance in my brain? And why does what clothing size I am make me judge myself, when I tell everyone else they’re stupid for thinking too much of theirs?

I had a conversation with one of my best friends recently, where we were talking about our clothing sizes. The two of us wear about the same size, and when we opened up the conversation to the rest of the people around us, I was surprised when a ‘skinny’ friend of mine said she wears size 12 trousers. And I suddenly hated that I put a certain expectation on the size of clothing I wear. But I also realised that, by talking about your clothing size with the people you admire around you, you become more aware that the size of clothes you wear means absolutely nothing. Honestly. It may sound hypocritical of me, after my rant in the last paragraph, but really – it doesn’t actually mean anything.

So many people all over the internet have tried jeans or dresses from different shops. All of those clothes might have said the same size, but it doesn’t mean that all of the similar items of clothing fit the person trying them on in the same way as the one before. A size 12 from H&M actually usually equates to a size 8/10 everywhere else if you’re trying on their jeans (trust me). We’ve put such an importance on the size of clothing we wear, believing that the person processing your order behind the counter at Primark is judging you for buying a certain size, but nobody cares, really. Have you ever told a friend, “oh I wear a size 12” and they’ve turned and said “it’s time to lose some weight, hon”? If you have I would advise you run as far away as possible, because from my experience they’ve just looked at me as if to say “am I supposed to act like you’re a beached whale or something?” I’ve always found that I care more about my own size than I do anyone else’s. Someone else telling me they’re a size 12 and acting ashamed always makes me angry; so why don’t I feel the same way about myself?

The model and ‘The Good Place’ actress Jameela Jamil started a campaign recently called ‘I Weigh’. After seeing a post on the social media platform Instagram, where someone had posted a series of photos of the Kardashians and had included how much each of them weigh, comparing them with one another, Jameela Jamil decided to speak up. To some extent, I suppose that’s what’s affected me in the past. The idea that you see celebrities who’ve ‘gained SO much weight!!!’ but who truly just look healthier affect the way you think of your own body. Jameela Jamil herself had experienced body shaming, which is why she created the ‘I Weigh’ campaign, encouraging women and men all over the world to post a photo of themselves with reasons for why they are who they are. I was part of the campaign fairly early on, too, with my own post on Instagram. The campaign is about the importance of more than what the scale says; of having more substance than the numbers you see. The campaign is about removing the grasp sizing and weight has over all men and women, due to what we see in the media, and more about valuing yourself for what you’re worth, and what makes you, you.

I’m going to continue to support this campaign for as long as I can, because I know first-hand the significance a stupid number has over a person. This summer, I’m not about a ‘beach body’ and more about giving the beach whatever body I have, and trying my very best to be confident in that body. This is the body I’ve been dealt, so this is the body I’m going to try to love.

By Tirion Davies

 

 

Photography Exhibition

 

A YEAR IN THEIR LIVES

& OTHER WORK

Twyn Yr Odyn photographer Roy Carr has spent the last year developing a documentary project on sheep farming, taking an interest in the Cynon Valley where he has worked with three farms.

He has charted key events in the farming year: lambing, shearing, hay making, ‘dipping’, selling and winter grazing, capturing the interaction between people and their animals as he tells the story of a farming year.

There is an intimacy about his photographs which comes from the relationship he developed with the people working the land, providing an insight into their work.

Roy explained that this posed challenges:

“I come from a landscape background. I spent hours carefully composing an image and waiting for the light. It was a slow, meditative process as I tried to communicate my connection to, and passion for the outdoors. People hardly ever featured in these photographs.

Here people are central. I wanted to capture them and their way of life, so I had to look for them and get to know them. My people skills were important as I was making photographs in their homes and they could ask me to leave.

I moved from a very slow, deliberate approach to being much more spontaneous, responding to the action in front of me. Still, the patience I had learned in landscape photography proved useful as I waited for people or animals to come into a space which had the potential to create an interesting image.

I relished the idea of creating a body of photographs and the project has gone in different directions as it progressed. In part this is because I started from a position of ignorance. As I learned about what the farmers did and how they did it, there new possibilities.”

This project features in an exhibition at the Cynon Valley Museum in Aberdare (open Tuesday to Saturday 10am until 4pm) running from 15th June until 14th July. He will also be displaying some of his landscapes.

Roy will be giving a walk-through talk about the exhibition at 2pm on each of the Saturdays that the exhibition is on. The Cynon Valley Museum is on Depot Road (next to Tesco), Aberdare, CF44 8DL, telephone 01685 886729. He can be contacted at roycarr6 @gmail.com

 

 

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