Travels And Travails In Southern Africa, 2025
TRAVELS AND TRAVAILS IN SOUTHERN AFRICA, 2025
A trip in 2025, which was part holiday and part (agricultural) research, began in Zambia with three of us (Sue, Ewen and myself) as guest of another friend (Bruce), a long-time Zambian commercial farmer. Our aim was to share ideas on regenerative farming, now a hot topic due to net-zero emission objectives. Southern Africa has outstanding farmers, and we probably gathered more ideas from them than they from us.
The first week of farm visits was followed by a short break to the Kafue Game Park which is roughly the size of Wales, and doubles in size when surrounding Game Management Areas are also included. On entering the Park, we were to learn that heavy rainfall during the previous week had washed out two culverts on the route we had intended to follow. The alternative route we were advised to follow had clearly seen little or no traffic for many weeks because there was barely a sign of any wheel tracks and vegetation between the tracks was often higher than our vehicle. But no matter; we were all seasoned ‘bush’ travellers having worked in Africa for many years and had made numerous overland journeys the length and breadth of the continent; what could possibly go wrong?
Well, plenty, as it turns out, because about 60kms into our journey we became completely stuck in a swamp with the vehicle’s underbelly perched on heavy clay and the wheels spinning uselessly in the water that invaded our wheel tracks. At first, we thought that the vehicle could be easily extradited but soon realised that we weren’t as well equipped as we thought. We had nearly 50m of tow rope but no winch, nor any hope of a towing vehicle appearing, and the jack that came with the vehicle malfunctioned quite quickly when it became filled with clay and swamp water. Although we all had mobile phones, we had no connectivity either on SMS or the Internet.
On the upside, we had a reasonable supply of food and, being in a swamp meant there was a plentiful supply of water; by good fortune/foresight, Sue had grabbed a metal box of biscuits before we departed, and this became the sole utensil for boiling the rather unsavoury looking swamp water. Also, and by sheer good fortune, the last farm we visited before entering the park gave us a sack of lemons and I can confirm that boiled swamp water with a whole lemon squeezed into it makes a delicious drink (Anyone with a garden pond should give it a try!). Also on board were two bottles of malt whisky, intended as gifts for future hosts.
Being in a game park, it was in part disappointment but more relief that we did not see any large game though there was plenty of evidence that they were not too far away. But what was in abundance were insects. We got stuck at about 4pm and were unable to extract the vehicle before dusk when the mosquitoes emerged in such vast numbers that there was no option but to retreat into the vehicle, extinguish all lights, and spend the next few hours swotting those that were already inside. A four-seater pick-up is an uncomfortable place to be seated at the best of times, but with dawn lying a full 12 hours ahead we were resigned to a night with little sleep. But there was conviviality as we were all good friends, and the possession of the malt whisky did much to lubricate the night away.
We emerged at dawn with much determination but after two hours of effort with minimal reward we realised that our predicament was likely to last longer than we had hoped. The sheer relief at the departure of (most of) the mosquitoes was quickly replaced by the arrival of tse-tse flies, the wounds from which took months to heal. Although we were too busy to spend much time wondering about consequences, the thought of malaria (mosquitoes), trypanosomiasis (tse-tse flies), bilharzia (from the swamp) and septicaemia (cuts on bare feet coated in an ‘Elastoplast’ of caked mud), were difficult to expel entirely from one’s thoughts, but by good fortune none of us were to suffer from any of these.
By mid-morning on day two, and with no progress in extracting the vehicle, it was time for a coffee break and conference. The default recommendation in such situations is to stay with the vehicle, but we had no idea whether we had been missed or written off as ‘no-shows’ at the game lodge we were trying to reach. Additional reasoning was that we were still well fed and healthy but that this may not be the case in, say, five days ahead if we were not found. So, it was decided that one should walk back the way we had come to reach an area where another vehicle was more likely to appear. Our host (Bruce) elected to do this solo, reasoning that he was the youngest (just 71) and knew the terrain far better than the rest of us. To prepare him for a potentially dangerous journey, he placed a message on his phone in case there might be a chance connection while walking, and whenever a clearing emerged he drew a large circle within which he recorded the time, and around which he drew two arrows, one showing the direction he had come from and the other showing the direction he was heading; Bear Grylls would surely have been impressed.
After Bruce’s departure, we continued our efforts to extricate the vehicle. It was debilitatingly thirsty work and Sue was virtually full-time boiling swamp water in the biscuit tin and amusing Ewen and I with prophesies of possible future tabloid headlines such as “remains of missing pensioners found in remote area of Zambia”. By mid-afternoon it was clear that, at the very least, another long night in the pick-up was inevitable so we broke off before the madding hordes of mosquitoes returned and decided on a clean-up. Sue had already found swamp indentations, probably formed by elephant feet, where the water was free of visible pollution. We were all filthy, having neither washed nor changed for nearly three days as well as being caked in mud. So, we all striped off and sluiced each other down, and put on fresh clothing; then Sue boiled up more swamp water to make a beautiful coffee in the cafetiere (for her an essential travel item) as well as finding within her modest food store an unopened bar of Lindt chocolate. The feeling was pure ecstasy and, along with the whisky that was to follow, did much to help us through another 12 hours cramped inside the pick-up.
Still feeling good as daylight broke and being reluctant to get covered in dirt from the swamp again, we enjoyed another delicious brew from Sue’s cafetiere and enjoyed a little light reading (books were other assets we had in our possession). As a result, it was a late start before we finally got going and then, mercifully, the peace of the surroundings was shattered by the sound of a helicopter’s rotor. We were to learn that a fixed wing plane had been searching for us throughout the previous day and, when that proved unsuccessful, a helicopter was brought in to assist. From then on, everything was perfect. The helicopter brought food and drink, and (more importantly) Game Wardens with much better kit than we had, as well as much younger bodies to use it, and in less than an hour the vehicle and the swamp bid each other farewell. Most importantly, the helicopter set off to track Bruce and found him safe and well, having not only survived his long walk (30kms) through the game park but also a night sleeping (and untouched) in the open with the sound of wildlife all around. After being reunited, we left the vehicle in the capable hands of two Game Wardens and enjoyed a short flight in the helicopter to the camp where we should have arrived two nights previously. The ice-cold beer that greeted us on landing was the best any of us had ever tasted!
To all of us, Africa has always been a special place, and the source of many memorable experiences although this was the first time that a helicopter rescue had been needed. The remainder of the journey, which included Zimbabwe and South Africa passed without incident, and those reading this account might be tempted to think it would have been a relief to get back to the safety of the UK; but this was also not to be. My flight back to Heathrow landed at 6.30am and I tried hard to get back to Wenvoe in time to attend an important funeral. The attempt was so nearly successful, but after just two miles I had a head-on with a hit-and-run driver at Twyn-yr-Odyn, which wrote my Land Rover off though I was otherwise uninjured and was able to hitch a ride to the wake. My daily run-about was now a beloved Citroen 2CV which I mostly used when going on holiday. Then just a few weeks later, when Sue returned from South Africa along with her cousin, we set off in the 2CV for a sight-seeing tour of Penarth and Cardiff. This time a much more serious hit-and-run driver crashed into us at speed from behind; we rolled twice with spilt petrol everywhere, but it didn’t ignite and we all escaped and without serious injury.
Looking back, we were very lucky that these incidents did not have tragic outcomes and all who assisted us were quite brilliant. Africa Parks who supplied the helicopter that found us were so professional, as were the Game Wardens who assisted us. After the last car crash we spent 14 hours in A&E in the Heath and I feel proud that the wonderful NHS staff attended, without question, to the injuries sustained by my South African guest despite the fact that she did not hold a British passport. The police were also marvellous and managed to extract a DNA sample from the exploded airbags of the abandoned vehicle that had crashed into us and, from the forensics that followed, were able to find the offender who has since received a custodial sentence. And, finally, the NFU Mutual Insurance Company which dealt with all associated matters with generosity and a minimum of fuss. Quite soon I will be setting off for another, and very similar, journey to Southern Africa. No doubt there will be new adventures, but I will try hard not to repeat the events of last year as they are surely better to look back on than to re-experience.
Robert Reader