You’ve Gotta Laugh

 

US WELFARE BLOOPERS

Excerpts drawn from letters written by citizens applying for payments from a state agency.

• I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

• In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

• I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

• Unless I get my money soon I will be forced to live an immortal life.

• You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?

• I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.

• I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?

• Mrs Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

• Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can’t eat or do anything until he knows.

• In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.