You’ve Gotta Laugh
US WELFARE BLOOPERS
Excerpts drawn from letters written by citizens applying for payments from a state agency.
• I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
• In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
• I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
• Unless I get my money soon I will be forced to live an immortal life.
• You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?
• I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.
• I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?
• Mrs Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.
• Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can’t eat or do anything until he knows.
• In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.