The Dead Duck
THE DEAD DUCK
A woman lays her very limp pet duck on the table in the veterinary surgery. The vet puts his stethoscope to the bird’s chest and listens carefully. The vet shakes his head. “I’m really sorry, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The woman becomes quite distressed and begins to cry. “Are you sure?” she says. “Yes mam” the vet responds. “Your duck is definitely dead.” “But how can you be so sure?” the woman protests. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything have you? Perhaps he’s just stunned.”
The vet rolls his eyes and leaves the room. A few minutes later he returns with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck’s owner looks on in amazement, the Labrador stands on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the examination table and sniffs around the duck. He then looks up at the vet with sad
eyes and shakes his head. The vet pats the dog on the head and takes it out of the room. A few minutes later the vet returns with a cat. The cat jumps on the table and sniffs at the bird. After a moment the cat looks up, shakes its head, meows and strolls out of the room.
The vet looks at the woman and says, “I’m really sorry, but as I said before, your duck is dead.”
The vet then turns to his computer and produces a bill. The duck’s owner, still in shock, looks at the bill and sees it is $150. “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” she shrieks with incredulity.
The vet shrugs his shoulders and says, “I’m sorry mam. If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. However, with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”