Month: September 2019

The Man by Tirion Davies

40% of men won’t talk to anyone about their mental health.

In a 2018 study by Priory, 40% of men polled stated it would take thoughts of suicide or self-harm to compel them to seek professional help. Almost a quarter of respondents stated they would feel uncomfortable speaking to their GP or a psychiatrist as they believed their concerns would be a waste of time. 77% of respondents in the study stated they have suffered with anxiety, depression and stress.

According to a 2017 article by Mind, suicide rates are higher in Wales than in the rest of the United Kingdom. In 2017, 5,821 suicides were recorded in Great Britain, of these 75% were males. Suicide represents the largest cause of death for men under the age of 50. Higher rates of suicide are also found in minority communities including gay men, war veterans, and those with low incomes. A particularly vulnerable group to death by suicide are middle-aged men from lower socio-economic backgrounds.

We live in a world filled with toxic masculinity. A world where stereotypes are still forced upon men and women. Stereotypes which can be incredibly damaging.

Earlier this year, I responded to an advert by the razor brand Gilette. The advertisement included men stopping other men from inappropriate behaviours and keeping men accountable for questionable actions. The advertisement garnered such a response online and highlighted the issue toxic masculinity faces on men within our society.

And yet, countless men took to online social media platforms to argue their disgust in the ad, claiming it tarnished all men and masculinity as bad.

But that’s part of the problem. The advertisement was made in an attempt to discuss the toxicity the ‘masculine’ stereotype can have; the fact that in order to be a ‘man’, you must not cry or be seen as ‘weak’. The advert was in an attempt to hold men accountable for sexual harassment and bullying, and to attempt to redefine ‘masculinity’. Damon Jones, Vice President for Global Communications and Advocacy at Procter & Gamble, stated in a January 2019 Forbes interview,

‘In many ways men are finding themselves at a crossroads – caught between old definitions of what masculinity means and this new era of masculinity. It’s about allowing men space to define masculinity for themselves. We don’t set the standard for what masculinity is, but we do believe we have an opportunity to promote positive, attainable, inclusive, and healthy versions of what it means to be a man’.

Toxic masculinity is an issue which many are still arguing doesn’t exist. But by forcing these outdated stereotypes on men, it causes men to follow

unhealthy habits and makes it harder for them to admit when they need help.

Mind Cymru’s Lee Cambule stated ‘I am still faced with some outdated stereotypes as a man suffering from depression; men as a source of strength, dominating positions of power, the hunter-gatherer, the idea that strong and silent is alluring/attractive, the “show no weakness” bravado of heroes in our media’. He also states that the men who are most revered in our society, like celebrities, are not always ready to admit their struggles to the public because of this ‘toxic masculinity’. Which, as a result, leaves the everyday man even more uncertain about speaking out.

The expression ‘manning up’ is often used to belittle men who show they are struggling with their mental health. Young boys are told to ‘man up’ if they cry about being hurt or when they show signs of struggle at school. Lee Cambule says, ‘that expression is still often used for the wrong reasons, unfortunately. The concept that mental health can be conquered by simple acting more “like a man” is misguided. Depression, anxiety, personality disorders and schizophrenia are no more or less difficult based on whether you have a Y chromosome in your DNA’.

It’s 2019, and yet too many men are struggling with speaking up about their mental health because of this ridiculous idea that they would be deemed less of a man if they admit they are suffering. It’s 2019, and yet too many men are killing themselves because of this refusal to admit that toxic masculinity exists and that it alienates many. It is 2019, and yet the statistics on male suicides seem unlikely to change.

I’m aware that just me telling you that you’re not weak won’t miraculously change the world’s outlook on men’s mental health. But hopefully, if enough people start to say it, more and more men will realise the truth behind those words. Because you are not weak. Admitting you are struggling is incredibly hard to do. If anything, it makes you braver than anyone else to admit that you need some help in feeling yourself again.

It’s time to admit that the masculine stereotype placed on men is outdated. It’s time to admit that seeking help can make you stronger. It’s time to admit your mental health is just as important as everyone else’s.

Being a ‘man’ doesn’t mean you have to suffer in silence. You deserve the right to be happy.

If you need any help, please don’t hesitate to use any of the following links:

https://uk.movember.com/mens-health/we-need-to-talk

Priory: 0800 086 1441

Mind:https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/

0300 123 3393

Samaritans: 116 123

 

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