Category: Play Hard Work Hard

Tirion Davies’s blog

Girls Like You

 

Girls Like You

Blogging about International Women’s Day has become almost tradition at this point. You may think it odd that I continue to celebrate this day every year though it’s not considered an international holiday. But every year, International Women’s Day exemplifies the importance of positive reinforcement for young girls. Whenever I browse social media on March 8th, I’m always flooded with stories about strong women I can aspire to be or shown stories of the women who’ve fought for the rest of us to have made it so far. I’m also shown ways of helping others, whether that be through the UN Women’s social media pages, or Plan International or Amnesty International, I see a way of helping women who aren’t as fortunate as I am. But the most prominent feeling I get from International Women’s Day every year is that women deserve to feel valued and that by lifting each other up we can all feel stronger. Cheesy, but true.

This International Women’s Day I’m celebrating the women in my life. Whether that be friends I’ve grown up with through school, friends I’ve met through sports, friends I’ve gained through musical theatre, friends I’ve met more recently at University or the incredible women I’m surrounded by in my family. I’ve never felt limited by any of them, and all I’ve ever received is support. Support to push beyond the boundaries that may sometimes be in my way, and support to continue through those boundaries when there’s no way around them.

This International Women’s Day I want to thank the women who’ve had my back (and held my hair). To my friends, who I see every day being sensational young women and forging paths for themselves. To my family, who’ve shown me ways of being an amazing woman, regardless of whether they’re older than me or not. And to the women I see in the media punching through stereotypes and fighting even when it seems impossible. Thank you.

It’s not the perfect time to be a woman in today’s age; between the fight for reproductive rights, the fight for an equal place at the table, the fight to have the choice who to marry and when and the fight against the stereotypes, it’s still a tough world. But it used to be far, far tougher and we can’t deny that some things are better. Young girls are able to open a magazine and see people like Ashely Graham or Iskra Lawrence looking like their body type and having it be celebrated. Others are looking at entertainment and seeing that they are so much more than the stereotype that have thrust upon them because of the colour of their skin. Others are realising that they weren’t born to be in the body they have and understanding that that’s okay. Some are realising that they get to love whomever they want to love, and it’s a brilliant thing. Young women and women everywhere are beginning to see their value, because there are more outlets showcasing every kind of woman. So yeah, being a woman’s still not perfect, but at least women are understanding that they deserve the perfect rights.

International Women’s Day began on February 28, 1909 when the Socialist Party of America organised a women’s day in New York, with the International Socialist Woman’s Conference suggesting a Women’s Day be held annually. March 8th was introduced by the Soviet Union in 1917 when women gained suffrage and the date became a national holiday, later being adopted as the international date for Women’s Day in 1975 by the United Nations. To reiterate what I say every year, today isn’t a day for bashing men – I’d actually like to celebrate my Dad and my brother for always encouraging me to be me and be the best person I can be. Today is a day to celebrate the women in our history who have shaped the world when it was deemed impossible for them to do so.

Mary Kom, an Indian boxer once said, “Do not say you are weak, because you are a woman”. Don’t limit yourself because of your gender; sex is biological, gender is a social construct. The stereotypes placed on women have been placed there by the men and women of the past. Think – a century ago women weren’t allowed to vote in elections because ‘common sense’ deemed that women were incapable of making sound decisions without the aid of a man. The world has seen a fair share of female political leaders since then. Women who’ve changed the world in some way, or at least changed the world’s perception of what it is to be a woman. Being born a woman ought not limit anyone, and I’ll be damned if the young women growing up in this century think less of themselves because of the sex on their birth certificate.

Whether you were born a woman or discovered later in life you should have always been a woman, you count. You are more than the limits the world will often put on you.

You count, you mean something, and I can’t wait to see you change the history books.

By Tirion Davies

 

 

Let’s Talk Organ Donation

Let’s talk organ donation. How many of you knew about the Organ Donation Act in Wales? Did you know about ‘opting-in’ or ‘opting-out’? Let’s talk about it.

Currently in Wales there is a scheme which came into effect in January of 2015 in an attempt to increase the number of organ donations throughout Wales. It states that you can ‘opt-in’ or ‘opt-out’ of organ donation. But what does that mean? It means that in the event of your death, a decision has to be made on whether or not your organs will be donated. Without making a decision about whether you want your organs to be donated or not (the ‘opt-in’ or ‘opt-out’ policies as they are dubbed) the decision is in your family’s hands. With your consent to be an organ donor post-mortem (by ‘opting-in’) and by ticking the box on your card which states your family is aware of your decision, there is no dispute. The same happens if you decide you don’t want to be an organ donor (by ‘opting-out’).

If you don’t make a decision – which isn’t the be-all and end-all of life – your family decides for you. There is an option which not many are aware of – you can appoint a representative to make the decision on your behalf. This means that they make the decision on your behalf when you die, and it means that the decision is made by someone you know will do what’s in your best interest, rather than someone who would make the decision based on their own views.

I can’t tell you which way to register. That’s not my place. I can, however, offer you my own personal opinion. When I turned eighteen, I made the decision to ‘opt-in’ to the organ donation act. My decision was made without the influence of family or friends – it was a decision I made on my own behalf because of the beliefs I have surrounding organ donation. It wasn’t either a spur-of-the-moment decision. I did my research and came to the conclusion that I’d like to be an organ donor when I die.

My role here isn’t to tell you that you should ‘opt-in’ and it’s in no way discouraging you not to ‘opt-out’. That decision is solely yours and yours alone to make. A topic of debate I’ve seen presented by some is that they want to die ‘complete’, which I entirely understand. I have my own beliefs about life after death, and to an extent, the fact that I’d rather be cremated than buried does influence my decision to be an organ donor post-mortem. My beliefs are my own and you are equally entitled to yours. Your decision one way or another should not be judged, because it is a decision you have made for yourself, in your best interest.

My role here is however, to tell you that if you don’t make a decision, you really do need to talk to the people who will make the decision on your behalf. There are too many people who don’t discuss organ  donation and many decisions are made by family members who disagree with their relatives’ decision to either ‘opt-in’ or ‘opt-out’. It is crucial that we all have the discussion about organ donation.

I made my family sit down and have an adult conversation about my decision before I applied to ‘opt-in’. My brother has not made a decision to ‘opt-in’ or to ‘opt-out’ but by having the discussion, I’m aware of his beliefs on the matter, and I, in turn, am aware of my parents’ decisions on the matter. When the (hopefully very, very distant) time should come for me to have to make the decision on their behalves, I know that I will act in their best interests. I know this, because I’ve had the discussion with them about it. In the same way they’ve had the discussion with me.

Whether you want to be an organ donor or not, let your family know. Express your views in the most basic way possible. Let them know whether you would ultimately like your organs donated. You don’t need to jump into the decision, you do however need to have your family know which side you’d land on. If you don’t talk about it, they may make a decision you disagree with because they think it’s in your best interest. Tell them. Have the discussion.

Let’s all have the chat about organ donation.

By Tirion Davies

 

 

Nobody Really Likes an Angry, Angry Man

 

Nobody Really Likes an Angry, Angry Man

The past few weeks in the news have been odd. With Theresa May’s Brexit deal falling through and her government barely supporting her, the world just seems weird at the moment. But if you haven’t seen a big advert being a headlining article in many newspapers, you’ve probably missed something. Let’s talk about the new Gillette advert.

Gillette, a men’s razor company, recently premiered its new advert, a short film named ‘Believe’. The film replaces Gillette’s signature “The best a man can get” with “The best men can be”. Gillette had said that it wanted to “hold men accountable”, which is exactly what it does with this short film.

The advert shows images of sexual harassment, bullying, misogyny and aggressive behaviour by men, before revisiting these same scenarios, but including another male lead who steps in these certain situations to prevent these behaviours. In the times of MeToo and HeForShe, the film shows men exactly why these movements have been so important as of late. By giving examples of inappropriate behaviour and counting it as inappropriate behaviour, it begins to hold men accountable for their actions. The behaviour we’ve seen time and time again as branded ‘boys will be boys’ finally gets the boot that says ‘no, this is wrong, and no one should allow this to happen’. By suggesting other men should prevent this behaviour if they see it, it creates reinforcement that the behaviour shown is inappropriate. Behaviour women have been telling the world for years is inappropriate, needed a man to reinforce this message. People are listening, but they’re not fans.

The endless comments on the YouTube video show men claiming it to be “feminist propaganda” and suggesting that stepping in to prevent sexual harassment is stating that Gillette no longer want the business of “manly men”. If you think being manly includes being a bully and a sexual harasser, your issues go far beyond any advert. Gillette probably doesn’t want your business if you think that way.

The short film did gain some positive feedback from very few men, but those who supported the advert commented on its powerful message. “By eliminating excuses for bad behaviour, and supporting a new generation working toward their personal ‘best’, we can help create a positive change that will matter for years to come” says Gillette’s president, Gary Coombe. Gillette has partnered with the Building a Better Man project for this short film (which aims to reduce violent behaviour in men) to help induce a drop in male violent behaviour and suggest more positive behaviours for men of the future.

Gillette knew that its advertising would cause backlash. But even I’m shocked it caused as much backlash as it did. Admittedly, it’s by men who are trying to justify the behaviours shown in the advert

as appropriate, but which could be seen to be eerily similar to their own behaviours. But the fact is, this conversation needed to happen – it did. In my opinion, there’s no arguing that the behaviours seen in the short film are in any way healthy. The fact that there are so many who can’t see that these scenarios are problems is indicative of the change that is surely needed.

I’m not telling you that you need to wholeheartedly support this advert and give it all the press in the world (that would be ideal, but some people will always seek to find a problem). I am however telling you that if you don’t identify the behaviours seen in the advert as inappropriate or wrong, you are a part of this problem. This short film was designed specifically to call out these scenarios and show, without an ounce of sugar coating that these behaviours are unacceptable. You don’t have to buy Gillette for the rest of your life or post this advert to every social media platform. You just have to understand why these behaviours are wrong and see that the advert is doing the right thing – it’s discussing it. The world has a problem with discussing toxic behaviours in both women, but especially men. Gillette is holding people accountable. We all need to do this.

The advert had been watched over 2 million times on YouTube in 48 hours. Backlash and support aside, take what you will from this advert but understand Gillette’s point is valid. It may be hard to swallow for some people, but the message needs to be heard. 2019 is holding everyone accountable for their actions, and I’m glad for it. Nobody really likes an angry man.

By Tirion Davies

 

 

Reflections on the Past Year

Reflecting on the past year has been incredibly hard, but also somewhat of a blessing in disguise. I can easily confirm 2018 to be the hardest year so far for me emotionally and mentally. Exams all but broke me and the wait for my results was heart-wrenching. My first term at university has just come to an end; the beginning was rocky, and I was worried that the feeling of faliing would mean I would never find my own feet amongst the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. 2018 was rough mentally and by this point of the year, I’m practically a mess. But when I began to reflect on the social aspect of my 2018, I saw a very different side to the story.

2018 has been the year of me. Absurdly cheesy and cliché, I’m very much aware. But I really feel I’ve come into my own this past year in a way I don’t think I had before. I became published officially this year in ‘Buzz Magazine’ whilst I was working there on a work experience placement. I’m a full-fledged journalist now, ladies and gentlemen – I did my first ever interview and everything! The experience allowed me to explore journalism and expand my skills, as well as explore the environment I may hopefully work in some day. I got the chance, thanks to a family friend, to shadow her when she was invited to be interviewed on BBC Radio Wales; the staff were incredible and took the time to explain to me the different aspects which surrounded the workings of a radio show, for which I’m forever grateful. I was also on BBC Radio Cymru myself on International Women’s Day with some of my friends, which was an experience and a half!

Although I may be one of the only people to ever quote Joseph Stalin in my personal statement (don’t worry! It was in order to mention how I aim to refute the quote ‘A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic’ in my lifetime), I received five university offers! The university I had my heart set on offered me the lowest grade of all the others, and despite the fact it made the emotional aspect of A Levels that much harder because I was so desperate to earn my place, it worked out perfectly in the end. Since being at university (I’m studying Welsh and Journalism) I’ve learned so much about Journalism and the fact I’m so incredibly excited to potentially become a Journalist just proves I made the right choice. Since being at university, I’ve appeared on the Welsh radio show ‘Cicio Sodle’’ and it feels like I’m really coming in to my own! I’ve also filmed an advert for the Welsh Government in support of ‘Having a Chat’ about Organ Donation in Wales – a matter I believe very strongly in (I Opted-In this year and I feel it was the best decision for me!).

Reflecting on this year means reflecting on my friends and on my own personal growth. At the beginning of 2018, I felt as though I had a complete lack of self-esteem concerning my appearance. With the help of my incredibly supportive friends, and the ‘I Weigh’ online movement, I’ve become far more confident in my own skin. It was once a rarity to see below my shoulders in a photo, but now it’s common place to see a full-length picture of my body. I’ve learnt to embrace my body and understand that being skinny doesn’t define beauty. Okay, I’m not completely healed of hating my body. HOWEVER, this past year I’ve learned to stop caring, and I’ve realised that I worry about people looking at my stomach when I sit down. I don’t care what other people’s stomachs look like when they sit down – which means no one’s going to care about me and my little tummy. Wearing bikinis has never been my thing, but this year I embraced it, and I felt more in my element wearing bikinis and form-fitting one pieces than ever before.

I’ve found myself surrounded by a support system of sensational people this year. My best friends are the people who are always there to listen to me and who don’t care if I say something stupid. I mean, yeah, they’ll bring it up for the rest of my life, but that’s true friendship – I know they’ll be around for the rest of my life. Two of my best friends moved to a completely different city this year; they’ve both found this first term difficult but considering they’re two of the people who’ve taught me the most about strength, I know they’ll be fine. If it’s not fine it’s not the end (thanks Mam and Dad for being so great this year). Finding new friends when you’ve become accustomed to people you’ve known since you were eleven, or even four is incredibly hard. To everyone who’s made it easy to be friends with at university: I thank you all.

This year I’ve changed. 2018 was the year of me; I learned a lot about myself and despite it not being my best year, it’s by far not my worst. To everyone reading this, I thank you for following my journey. I’m not sure you understand how thankful I am to you. I’ve changed, but I’m still me.

By Tirion Davies

 

 

Change

If you’re unaware as to who Brett Kavanaugh is, I’m sure you’ve not glanced at the news recently. The Supreme Court nominee, accused of attempted sexual assault, who despite the odds, became a Supreme Court Justice and proved that in America, when a woman accuses a man of sexual misconduct, she is the liar. A pattern we have unfortunately seen repeated time and time again.

Dr Christine Blasey Ford had received “actual threats to her safety and her life” before appearing in front of the Senate judiciary committee to testify against the then-nominee Kavanaugh. Despite numerous witnesses to the attempted assault, including a high school friend of Kavanaugh’s who is alleged to have been present in the room during the attempted assault, Ford’s accusation was dismissed as being ‘politically charged’ by many. But the theme of dismissing sexual assault claims as ‘lies’ or ‘opportunistic’ isn’t new, and neither is it uncommon. The world has a problem believing a claim of sexual misconduct, and I don’t know why. According to a 2015 report by the National Sexual Violence Resource Centre, the prevalence of false reporting sexual violence in the United States is only between 2% and 10%. Considering that the report also states, “a study of eight U.S. communities, which included 2,059 cases of sexual assault, found a 7.1% rate of false reports” why can’t we believe the people who are brave enough to come forward to speak about their trauma?

Three women including Ford came forward to accuse Kavanaugh of sexual misconduct. There is no excuse of ‘it was a mistake he made once’ (an incredibly weak excuse at that – rape is rape, attempted rape is no different; that’s not a mistake, that’s a choice to violate someone) Kavanaugh had a pattern of violating women. And still, the highest court in America took his side.

In 2017, Brett Kavanaugh was on the DC Circuit Court of Appeals and ruled against a 17-year-old undocumented teenager who was attempting to obtain an abortion. Jane Doe, who did not want her identity revealed throughout the case, arrived in the

United States without her parents and was taken into the U.S. Custody. She was pregnant and was aiming to exercise her constitutional right to obtain a legal abortion; this right extends not only to United States citizens, but also foreigners within the US. Kavanaugh had delayed her ability to obtain a legal abortion and claimed that the government should not facilitate her abortion, but at 15 weeks pregnant, her window was closing. Kavanaugh stated “she is pregnant and has to make a major life decision”, but his action in ruling against her plea seems to claim that he believed having an abortion was more life altering than having a child which would have been unwanted, and a child Jane Doe would have been unable to financially support. Jane Doe eventually obtained the right to legally obtain an abortion within the United States, but it was she who gained much of the backlash for the decision, not those who voted against her. A tweet by Teen Vogue columnist, Lauren Duca stated “It seems to me that when Brett Kavanaugh attempted to deny a 17-year-old immigrant an abortion, he believed that the decisions you make as a minor ought to have lifelong consequences. Let’s treat him the same way”.

Let's treat him the same way. The old 'boys will be boys' line is dated and inexcusable. Kavanaugh's actions in the attempted sexual assault when he was a teenager doesn't mean he can't still be held accountable for his actions now. Jane Doe will be seen as the immigrant who got rid of her baby, and yet Brett Kavanaugh's attempted sexual assault and the many claims which have also come to light have been dismissed and he now holds a position of power high enough to be influential in cases such as his in the future. And you know which way he'll vote then. America's poor judgement seems sewn into its history; a man who was accused of rape is now their President, their history of gun violence is unchanged and they are breaking their own record year after year with the worst mass shootings in American history. It's shocking that a man like Kavanaugh could go through such a heavily-followed case which included numerous allegations of sexual misconduct and still be awarded with one of the highest seats at the table. It's shocking. But it's not surprising.

From the Harvey Weinstein story of last year, to the MeToo campaign, to the Kavanaugh case, the world has proven that barely anyone believes those who have accused others of sexual misconduct. We typically believe the accused, and I’m sick of it.

I believe her. I believe him. I believe those who have come forward with their stories. Sexual misconduct is a matter which shouldn’t be taken lightly. But it’s a topic where we have consistently let down those who must fight to even be heard. Please let it stop.

By Tirion Davies

Early-Marriages Are Detrimental

 

Since I was little, I imagined what my future wedding would be like. The dress, the layout, the partner; all children daydream about the day they will marry their soulmate. I always wondered what they would look like, their personality, how we would meet, how old I would be and how long it would take for us to get engaged. But I realise now, my imagination of what the future would hold for me was because I get to make a choice. Unfortunately, choice isn’t granted to every girl in the world.

I’m eighteen, and currently, I don’t see myself marrying for probably another ten years. I haven’t met the person – I haven’t even come close. But 12 million girls all over the world are married before they reach eighteen. Before their life begins. 23 girls every minute; almost 1 every 2 seconds. A choice they can’t make themselves; a choice they aren’t allowed to make themselves.

Being Welsh, I know gender pay inequality is still an issue that women in the UK face, but in the big scheme of things, it’s hardly the women of the world’s biggest concern. Of course, the gender pay gap ought to close and I truly hope it does; I aim to be a part of that conversation. But the truth of the matter is, gender inequality reaches so far beyond pay in many of the countries around the world and extends to the genuine belief that women are so inferior to men on a much larger scale. In numerous countries, being born a girl immediately creates a burden on a family; to ease economic hardship, and ‘burden’ another family in place of theirs, families marry off their young daughters. Patriarchal values aid in child marriage, as there is a desire by the patriarchal society in these countries to control a women, by the way they dress, how she should behave and most importantly, who she should marry.

Child marriage seems to us like some barbaric burden placed on young girls. So many countries practice child marriage simply as it is something that has happened for generations, but it doesn’t justify the practice. In Southern Ethiopia for example, harmful practices are often linked, with child marriage leading to female genital mutilation; practices may be tradition, but they can be harmful to those involved. Many young girls who are married are expected to have children, but many get pregnant when their bodies have only just started puberty. They die because their bodies are not equipped to carrying a baby, and certainly not built for giving birth to them.

GirlsNotBrides is a global partnership of over 1000 civil society organisations which are dedicated to ending child marriage. Their theory of change involves ideas such as empowering girls and giving them opportunities to build skills and knowledge; by encouraging them to become agents of change themselves, we can  continue the chain of empowering young girls. With the Safe Space Programmes, we can successfully build girls’ self-confidence, for married girls who do not receive an education, they offer self-sufficiency and having a safe place to meet with other girls who have shared the same experiences, the feeling of isolation and vulnerability can begin to be removed. The work the global partnership does with men and boys who become husbands, or who are brothers and fathers shows the value of encouraging young girls and aiding to fulfil their potential.

Child marriage, according to ‘GirlsNotBrides’ website ‘violates girls’ rights to health, education and opportunity. It exposes girls to violence throughout their lives and traps them in a cycle of poverty’. More than 650 million women, and over 150 million men have suffered child marriage, and without faster progress the global number of women married as children will reach 1.2 billion by 2050. If we help to support GirlsNotBrides, we can help end the devastating consequences of child marriage. Progress is being made, with the African Union and the South Asia Initiative to End Violence Against Children having launched initiatives to help end child marriages and support young married girls; more and more countries are developing national action plans to end child marriage, in partnership with the UN.

A campaign conducted by the Network of Roma, Ashkali and Egyptian Women Organizations of Kosovo (a project under the EU-UN jurisdiction ‘Implementing Norms, Changing Minds’) have allowed for communities in Kosovo to understand the detrimental restrictions early-marriage forces upon young girls’ prospect of a safe life. A young man named Qerim completed his training on the prevention of early-marriage and has begun his door-to-door programme of beginning conversations in his neighbourhood and is encouraging them to consider the effects early-marriage has on the young women within their own community. By opening the conversation to communities where child marriage is often a tradition, we can help prevent the practice.

You may not think this is a problem we should deal with, as it is not a problem on Britain’s doorstep. But it doesn’t mean we can’t help in the matter. Supporting the UN and global partnerships like GirlsNotBrides, FreedomUnited, Amnesty International, Plan International and so many more can make even the slightest difference. By continuing the conversation and understanding how early-marriages are detrimental, you are a part of change.

Child marriage needs to stop and progress isn’t happening fast enough. Support these global partnerships and become a part of change.

By Tirion Davies

 

 

Love is a Losing Game

Love is a Losing Game

Imagine being paralysed by fear in your own home. Imagine being hit to the point of breaking but you must continue to live with your abuser. Imagine if you lived in a country where unless you are hospitalised – that is, if you have the guts to take yourself to a hospital – your abuser is forgiven by society. Imagine if your abuser becomes the hero of the narrative, making you the villain by default. Imagine then, being a woman in the Russia of 2018.

More than 10,000 women in Russia are believed to die from injuries inflicted by their husbands yearly, yet despite this, the Russian parliament has passed a legal amendment decriminalising domestic abuse. With 380 to 3 votes in the Duma, and Putin’s easy agreement, the motion passed easily. Why can’t Russia seem to notice the death sentence they have forced upon millions of its women and children? Why hasn’t Russia considered the terror the change of law has inflicted on the women of Yekaterinburg, where the penalty for “minor injuries” such as bruising was reduced from a two year sentence to fifteen days in prison? Why haven’t they considered that since the law was introduced, Yekaterinburg has had police responding to 350 incidents of domestic violence daily?

But consider this: what if you had to pay your husband’s fine after he broke your nose and spirit? What if you not only had to protect yourself, but your child as well? It seems hard to believe that the same country that offered suffrage for its women in 1917 and introduced the modern International Women’s Day could leave its women in such a predicament. One woman dies every 40 minutes in the ‘Motherland’ from domestic abuse. And for what? To protect Russian tradition? To maintain the ‘sacred family’ unit? One woman dead every 40 minutes, each one ignored by Parliament.

And what of the women who actively try to keep their fellow women down? What if the woman who witnessed the abuse praised your abuser for his strength and masculinity, despite almost killing you? Take, for example, Russian MP Yelena Mizulina, who helped to instigate the decriminalisation after arguing that it made no sense to break up a family for the sake of “a slap”. Mizulina has condemned a generation of women to a toxic familial environment because she doesn’t believe they should have the right to escape it. This can only lead to one thing: the woman lying cold on the kitchen floor. Maria Mamikonyan, chair of the Russian Parental, has condoned “ordinary educational slaps, which almost all families use to let children know their limits.” But when does a disciplinary ‘slap’ become abusive? And since when is it acceptable to treat grown women like children?

If you lived in a country where you were, ironically, threatened with rape for attending classes to protect yourself, would you sit idly by and allow it to happen? If you were forced to be on the run like a criminal for a crime of which you were the victim, wouldn’t you ask why? But the women of Russia have been asking why. They’ve been asking why for so long now that their cries are wails and yet their country still refuses to hear them. And we do the same. So what can they do? Stay silent, in order to stay alive. Live in fear of being murdered by the men who are meant to love them.

With up to a third of Russian women believed to suffer from some form of domestic abuse, and 40% of all murders and violent crimes taking place within the home, it’s a wonder how these women carry on. How do they go about their day, trying not to wince at the collage of bruises hidden carefully under their clothes? They have to, when staying with their partner is an easier option than living amongst the shadows.

There is a popular saying in Russia: “if he beats you, it means he loves you”. Passivity is maintained by these women as a form of survival, as though their lives are equal to a game of chess. One wrong move, and the Queen’s life hangs in the balance.

Imagine not being protected by your own nation. Would you honestly be content with that? Why then are we allowing any woman to live in that dystopian present? We cannot call ourselves a country with some of the best equal rights laws and not feel despair for the women of Russia. I urge you to imagine yourself, your grandmother, your mother, sister or daughter in a situation, where no one seems to stop the suffering of the innocent.

Without a voice, there is no change. But we have a voice – I have a voice. And so do you. Together, our voices have the power to be deafening. We cannot allow for the blood of these women to be smeared across the Russian flag in the name of ‘tradition’. By supporting charities such as Refuge and raising awareness of the severity of the problem which occurs by decriminalising domestic abuse, the rest of the world can protect the women who are unable to protect themselves. The women of Russia deserve the opportunity to fight for their lives without the threat of incarceration. We know what is happening, and yet no attempt has been on Britain’s part to protect them.

Time for change has come, and the window of opportunity is slowly closing. I will be doing all that I can to protect the women across the world suffering from sexual violence.

Will you be joining me?

By Tirion Davies

 

 

Holidays with the Family

 

Being on holiday with my family is something I’ll never get old of. Especially if it’s after a hard two years of A-Levels. Of course, my brain is telling me I must worry about results day but my heart is telling me to jump into the sea and never look back. On holiday, I prefer the latter – always.

Sometimes I think maybe our family is weird. I’ve spoken to so many other people who all suggest they want to get as far away as their families as possible and can think of nothing worse than two weeks abroad with their parents and siblings. But not us. We enjoy each other’s company, and I prefer that. It means we can get drunk on cocktails at 6pm and name all of the stray dogs at the hotel happily; or it means that when Mam falls off the boat, bum first on a day trip, it’s entirely okay to laugh (a lot). It also means that you can have the best (sometimes weirdest) conversations sat inside the beach bar when the rain is hammering down and the pool looks desolate and bleak. Answering Trivial Pursuit cards has never been as fun as when you’re slightly drunk at night and extremely sunburnt (thanks Factor 50 ☹).

When we finish our holidays, we normally come home feeling closer. As we try to continue the rest of the summer, there’s still that glimmer of the holiday left, with sitting outside after everyone’s finished with work or trying the Trivial Pursuit cards again, only to realise you went through them all on holiday and somebody always remembers the answers. But it’s nice. Because we want to feel that close – we don’t want to run or escape from one another.

Now I’m home and Results Day looms, I can’t help but want to hold on to the holiday either. We waited two years for the holiday, and it felt like it was over so quickly (the 12 hour flight, however, I will not miss). I wish sometimes there was something akin to a holiday all of the time so that I wouldn’t have to think about school. Sometimes, though, I’m not sure I necessarily want the holiday itself (I burn incredibly easily, it’s embarrassing and inevitably always hotter again because of the sunburn) but rather the family time. I genuinely like my family, and hoping that I do get in to University, I don’t know what I’ll do without them next year.

I wish there were as many families who are just happy to be around one another in the same way we are. It’s great and I would highly recommend it. I’m not saying I’m best friends with my parents, but I’m saying I highly enjoy their company. Life when you enjoy your parents’ company is far better than life when you don’t.

Enjoy your holidays, ladies and gents!

By Tirion Davies

 

 

The “Ideal Summer Body”!

 

As the idea of a ‘summer body’ becomes more and more relevant, so does the idea of the ‘ideal summer body’. I’ve struggled a lot with how I look, and the size of clothing I wear doesn’t count as ‘plus-sized’ but neither does it count as ‘the ideal body’. I stand in that weird, medium section – otherwise known as size 12 wearers – where because of the size of clothing I wear, I count as the middle ground no one wishes to be in.

Because the world, and fashion magazines put such an importance on looking ‘perfect’, telling everyone my clothing size as I just did is a big step for me. Because I’ve always had the impression that a size 12 is ‘too big’. Stupid, really isn’t it? I always feel happy when I fit into a size 10 easily. And then I always feel guilty, because I’m not really that size. But why should I feel guilty? Why have I created this idea in my head that a size 12 is less than ideal? According to reports, the average dress size of a UK woman in 2017 was a size 16. But my question isn’t only why do I feel ‘fat’ for being a size 12, but also – why do sizes have such an importance in my brain? And why does what clothing size I am make me judge myself, when I tell everyone else they’re stupid for thinking too much of theirs?

I had a conversation with one of my best friends recently, where we were talking about our clothing sizes. The two of us wear about the same size, and when we opened up the conversation to the rest of the people around us, I was surprised when a ‘skinny’ friend of mine said she wears size 12 trousers. And I suddenly hated that I put a certain expectation on the size of clothing I wear. But I also realised that, by talking about your clothing size with the people you admire around you, you become more aware that the size of clothes you wear means absolutely nothing. Honestly. It may sound hypocritical of me, after my rant in the last paragraph, but really – it doesn’t actually mean anything.

So many people all over the internet have tried jeans or dresses from different shops. All of those clothes might have said the same size, but it doesn’t mean that all of the similar items of clothing fit the person trying them on in the same way as the one before. A size 12 from H&M actually usually equates to a size 8/10 everywhere else if you’re trying on their jeans (trust me). We’ve put such an importance on the size of clothing we wear, believing that the person processing your order behind the counter at Primark is judging you for buying a certain size, but nobody cares, really. Have you ever told a friend, “oh I wear a size 12” and they’ve turned and said “it’s time to lose some weight, hon”? If you have I would advise you run as far away as possible, because from my experience they’ve just looked at me as if to say “am I supposed to act like you’re a beached whale or something?” I’ve always found that I care more about my own size than I do anyone else’s. Someone else telling me they’re a size 12 and acting ashamed always makes me angry; so why don’t I feel the same way about myself?

The model and ‘The Good Place’ actress Jameela Jamil started a campaign recently called ‘I Weigh’. After seeing a post on the social media platform Instagram, where someone had posted a series of photos of the Kardashians and had included how much each of them weigh, comparing them with one another, Jameela Jamil decided to speak up. To some extent, I suppose that’s what’s affected me in the past. The idea that you see celebrities who’ve ‘gained SO much weight!!!’ but who truly just look healthier affect the way you think of your own body. Jameela Jamil herself had experienced body shaming, which is why she created the ‘I Weigh’ campaign, encouraging women and men all over the world to post a photo of themselves with reasons for why they are who they are. I was part of the campaign fairly early on, too, with my own post on Instagram. The campaign is about the importance of more than what the scale says; of having more substance than the numbers you see. The campaign is about removing the grasp sizing and weight has over all men and women, due to what we see in the media, and more about valuing yourself for what you’re worth, and what makes you, you.

I’m going to continue to support this campaign for as long as I can, because I know first-hand the significance a stupid number has over a person. This summer, I’m not about a ‘beach body’ and more about giving the beach whatever body I have, and trying my very best to be confident in that body. This is the body I’ve been dealt, so this is the body I’m going to try to love.

By Tirion Davies

 

 

I Just Turned Eighteen

I just turned eighteen – and I mean just. But I don’t ‘feel’ eighteen. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to feel like, but I’m pretty sure I don’t feel it… But turning eighteen has made me reminisce about the past eighteen years, and there are a few people I’d like to thank.

Firstly and most obviously, my parents for just, making me really… but really – thank you parents for giving me all the support anyone could ever wish for, even when I do things which are really stupid! Secondly, my brother for sharing a sense of humour with me, and always making me feel as though a rubbish day can have a little bit of sun. To my family and friends, thank you for making me feel worth when it’s hard not to see past the failures. And thank you to everyone – even the kind strangers on a bus who offer you a seat, or an American till worker helping me figure out what change I had in New York – for helping my experiences to have a flicker of fun in them all.

Thank you, also, to all those who have helped me to gain enough experience for my future – to everyone who reads my blog, to those at the BBC for letting me gain work experience (and to the woman who made it happen!) to everyone reading this now, you’ve helped me so much – and to the organisers of What’s On, I thank you for giving me the opportunity month after month to do what I love.

This year has been a bag of mixed emotions. Although my exams were the most stressful they’ve ever been (well, until this year) the results day was worth it, by setting me up comfortably for this year’s exams. When my friends and I managed to survive climbing over mountain after mountain and treacherous terrain during our Duke Of Edinburgh Award (without those ladies I really don’t know if I’d have finished, but the endless laughter of the absurdity of the least outdoorsy people managing to fall in cow poo every five seconds made the treks bearable). When I got offers from all of the Universities I had applied to – and that my first choice university was my lowest offer! Getting the chance to speak on BBC Radio Cymru on International Women’s Day was one of the most exciting things I think has happened in my life. Completing my last show with my stage school after acting for eleven years.

Seventeen has been brilliant. It’s also been hard. But with the summer on its way, and the prospect of getting in to University spurring me through my exams, I can’t wait to see what eighteen has in store. With my last day in secondary school next week it seems that eighteen has a great beginning. And the fact that I can drink (legally)!

Thank you to everyone who made seventeen great. Let’s make eighteen spectacular.

By Tirion Davies

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