<\/p>\n
AMERICAN COPS<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n These quotes are taken off actual police car videos AMERICAN COPS These quotes are taken off actual police car videos around the states: There are some mighty ‘quick witted’ cops! \uf0a8’You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’ \uf0a8’Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.’ \uf0a8’If you take your hands off the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[128],"tags":[349],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6cWjO-1Dv","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9426,"url":"http:\/\/wenvoe.org.uk\/?p=9426","url_meta":{"origin":6293,"position":0},"title":"Good Feelings Books","author":"Alan Williams","date":"28th March 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"THE PAGE TURNERS The Most Funny, Uplifting, Joyous, Happy Books The lockdowns and government restrictions have led to a huge boost in the number of people reading. 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\naround the states: There are some mighty ‘quick
\nwitted’ cops!
\n\uf0a8’You know, stop lights don’t come any redder
\nthan the one you just went through.’
\n\uf0a8’Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re
\nnew. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.’
\n\uf0a8’If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your
\nbirth certificate a worthless document.’
\n\uf0a8 ‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.’
\n\uf0a8’Can you run faster than 1200 ft\/second? Because
\nthat’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’
\n\uf0a8’You don’t know how fast you were going? I
\nguess that means I can write anything I want on the
\nticket, huh?’
\n\uf0a8’Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
\ndon’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m
\nthe shift supervisor?’
\n\uf0a8’Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m
\nwarning you not to do that again or I’ll give you
\nanother ticket.’
\n\uf0a8’The answer to this last question will determine
\nwhether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse
\na cat or a dog?’
\n\uf0a8’Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
\nplace where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton
\ncandy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.’
\n\uf0a8’Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
\nwife gets a toaster oven.’
\n\uf0a8’How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you
\nhad?’
\n\uf0a8’No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used
\nto, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets
\nas we can.’
\n\uf0a8’I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a
\npersonal friend of yours. It’s good to know
\nsomeone who can post your bail.’
\n\uf0a8’You didn’t think we gave pretty women tickets?
\nYou’re right, we don’t ………. Sign here.’<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"