Category: Humour
Fun stuff
Monster Runner Beans
A LOCAL WINNER? This photo is of Phyllis Crump showing off husband Gerry’s runner beans, at her home in Rectory Close
» Read moreAlways Look On The Bright Side
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE While we are all hoping to avoid a local lockdown, self-isolation or quarantine, in true British fashion we seem to be making the best of things. We are already getting used to life with coronavirus and of course most of the current restrictions are nothing new Although in the past it may […]
» Read moreTreat Our Masks Like Our Undies
COUNCIL URGES US TO TREAT OUR MASKS LIKE OUR UNDIES A year ago we couldn’t possibly have imagined that while going about our normal business the wearing of masks would be a common sight. Of course we are used to seeing masks in all sorts of contexts and we seem fairly relaxed about being told to wear them. Masks have […]
» Read moreBring Back Tommy Cooper
BRING BACK TOMMY COOPER Phone answering machine message – ‘If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key’. …….. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn’t reach the meat. off the top shelf. He said, ‘No, the steaks are too high.’ …………………………… My friend drowned in a bowl of […]
» Read moreThe Dead Duck
THE DEAD DUCK A woman lays her very limp pet duck on the table in the veterinary surgery. The vet puts his stethoscope to the bird’s chest and listens carefully. The vet shakes his head. “I’m really sorry, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.” The woman becomes quite distressed and begins to cry. “Are you sure?” she says. “Yes […]
» Read moreQUIZ – TRUE OR FALSE???
TRUE OR FALSE??? Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? No cheating – answer all the question first before looking up the answers. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have a belly button. A packet-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years. […]
» Read moreDelia’s Way Vs Real Women’s Way
Delia’s Way Vs Real Women’s Way Delia’s way Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. The Real Women’s Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Gods sake, you’re probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. Delia’s way To keep potatoes […]
» Read moreAre You Making A New Year’s Resolution?
Are You Making A New Year’s Resolution? The tradition of New Year’s Resolutions has a long history, with people from many cultures across the globe making promises at the start of each year. Babylonians made promises to their gods that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts. The Romans began each year by making promises to the god […]
» Read moreThe Boy Who Laughed At Santa Claus
The Boy Who Laughed At Santa Claus In Baltimore there lived a boy He wasn’t anybody’s joy. Although his name was Jabez Dawes His character was full of flaws. In school he never led his classes He hid old ladies’ reading glasses His mouth was open when he chewed And elbows to the table glued. He stole the milk of […]
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